a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
