I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
