Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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