so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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