If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
