You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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