Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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