I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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