This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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