he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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