I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
