He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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