PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
