I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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