this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
