How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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