this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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