Do you still have your period?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
