I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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