If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
