ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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