i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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