I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
