your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
too bad you live with your parents still
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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