I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
