thus making me awesome and them whores
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
