and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
