omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
