No stitches, just platelets and will power
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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