i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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