worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
