$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
