Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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