I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
not ubering you a puppy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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