Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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