The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
