ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
