I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
4 words: hood of his car
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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