good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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