It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize