his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
