That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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