just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
