you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize