Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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