Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
