he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
