who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
