Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
