You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
jump out the window naked night went bad
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