her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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