yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
