TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
