okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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