Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
