That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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