maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
