well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
