whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
