i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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